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Hospice Volunteering: An Audio Documentary

Posted by Frances Shani Parker on August 3, 2008 at 3:30pm

“Hospice Chronicles: Care for the Patient and Family” is an audio documentary produced by Dan Collison and Elizabeth Meister of Long Haul Productions. It follows two southwest Michigan hospice volunteers who have completed their volunteer training and are visiting their first patients.Volunteer Joe Haase essentially provides respite (relief) for caregiver Betty Bennett, whose husband Preston has Parkinson’s disease and early-stage dementia. Respite care gives her time away from home to do errands and take a break from the pressures of caregiving. Betty sounds overwhelmed with meeting Preston’s needs, but she continues to keep him at home because she promised him she would.In the second documentary scenario, volunteer Betty Elsas visits patient Mamie Matthews, who is 97 years old and slowly deteriorating. Because Betty has a healthcare background, she mentions how visiting a patient “cold,” with little information, puts her at a disadvantage.A hospice volunteer myself, I think new hospice volunteers would find these conversations helpful, especially during a discussion with seasoned volunteers who have residential and nursing home experience. This audio documentary can be heard atwww.npr.org “Hospice Chronicles: Care for the Patient and Family.”Frances Shani Parker

A Hospice Angel

Posted by Irene Smith on July 17, 2008 at 8:00pm

It seemed as usual, walking down the long corridor in the inpatient hospice unit on Sunday.We were witnessing twenty-two beds with curtains in between to allow visual privacy to residents in various stages of their dying process. Curtains were drawn to allow complete privacy for some; others, with curtains open, were watching TV or listening to music with headsets, and some were lying across their beds in obvious discomfort. There were residents being vocal with their personal needs, and residents needing their quiet space.After 15 years of coming to this unit, although I never know what will appear, it all seemed to be somewhat familiar.I knew however, that for the two Everflowing interns with me, it was not familiar. I was giving an orientation for our clinical practice and this was our first walk through the unit. I sensed the impact of this long corridor.We were passing through the men’s area when at the other end of the unit, in the women’s area, there was a slight Asian woman coming our way with a nursing assistant. We kept walking. She kept walking towards us. As the woman approached I noticed her expression change from curiosity to acceptance.Then, when we were only a couple of feet away from each other, the woman stretched out her arms to me. Her face was open and inviting. I stopped walking. Our eyes met in soft recognition of our humanness, and I responded with outstretched arms as well.With obvious respect, she took one of my arms in her hands, stroked down the arm slowly, and looking into my eyes, took my hand and gently stroked the side of her face. ”Thank you,” I said. “Thank you,” she replied.Reaching out, she then silently offered to hold one of the intern’s hands for a moment, and thank you’s were expressed.Approaching the second intern, the woman stood on her tiptoes and stroked the interns shoulder and across his chest. She was beaming with care and tenderness.After all thank you’s were expressed this angel of the hospice continued her journey to the kitchen.We were left standing in the center of this corridor softened with gratitude. Our orientation had been transformed. Our hearts were full and our spirits light.A simple caring gesture of touch; a glance into the eyes of an intimate contact with no attachment; no planned intention to fix, change, heal or correct anything, had changed everything.Thank you for your personal sharing and comments. I look forward to hearing from you.Blessings Irene smithwww.everflowing.org

How 'bout a refresher?

Posted by Kris Scanlon on May 14, 2008 at 11:53am

We all KNOW this information, but I wanted to share it again, just as a refresher. I received this in Hospice News Nebraska email from Nebraska Hospice and Palliative Care Partnership (NHPCP).INTERACTING WITH THE TERMINALLY ILLIn “Terminal Illness: Interacting With a Terminally Ill Loved One,” Mayo Clinic chaplain Mary E. Johnson “discusses what you might say to a loved one who has a terminal illness, how you might act around him or her, and how to deal with negative thoughts after your loved one dies.”Johnson poses a series of questions and then answers each question with suggestions for persons who have terminally ill loved ones.* Relationships with loved ones “usually don't change when people are faced with bad news,” she says. “It's important to build on the strengths of the relationship that were in place before the terminal illness came about.” She also encourages being open to possibilities, saying that some people find healing in relationships, and that this time of life can be very “rich.”* Loved ones should be loved ones and not counselors. They should let the patient know that they’re willing to listen, but should not try to force conversations. “Never underestimate the value of your presence,” she says. “Even if it feels as though you are not doing anything, being present sends the message, ‘I am here. I will not abandon you.’”* “Dying is not a science,” and the patient may not go through a “methodical process” of coping with death. It’s not helpful to try to “push” a terminally ill patient through pre-defined stages of death and dying.* If a loved one is in denial, he or she may be afraid of pain or loss of control. Johnson says that denial “has been described as a form of terror management,” and is “an important coping mechanism.” Talking with an outsider may help, as the patient may be trying to protect his or her family from such discussions.* One thing which can be done for the dying is to ask them to tell their life stories – “those marvelous stories that get told around the campfire.” Recording such conversations can be meaningful to families.* Keeping a vigil can be “a very sacred but very draining experience,” and the person doing so should take good care of himself or herself. If the vigil is too tiring or overwhelming, “consider getting a respite worker or a patient care assistant to help provide the physical care so that you can continue to be there emotionally for your loved one.”* People who are grieving should understand that “feelings of grief, loss and sadness come in waves. Emotions can feel overwhelming, making even simple tasks seem difficult for a time. This is all normal. It doesn't mean you're going to be unable to function for the rest of your life. It means that right now most of what you can do is grieve.” Grief is a kind of journey and those who find themselves stuck should consider getting help.* People who have lost loved ones are “especially vulnerable to guilt. Feeling guilt in the wake of a loss allows us to take an inventory of ourselves. Most of the time we'll come to some peace and the guilt will fade. You may need someone to talk to who can listen to you as you work through this part of grief.”The article also has a number of links to other articles on caring for your loved one at the end of life, hospice care, normal grieving, complicated grief, coping with reminders after a loss, survivors of suicide, and infant death.The article is on the Mayo Clinic website at www.mayoclinic.com/health/grief/CA00041.(Mayo Clinic Website, 4/4)

IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS

Posted by Maria Housden, author of HANNAH'S GIFT on May 9, 2008 at 4:24pm

As I sat in the quiet of the morning soaking in the sun, eating an english muffin, toasted, with fresh tomatoes and melted cheese, I was reminded of something that Warren Zevon said in an interview in the last months of his life as he was dying of cancer.He was asked, "What do you know, at the end of your life, that the rest of us haven't yet learned?" Zevon thought about it for a moment and then answered, "I know how much fun we're supposed to have just eating a sandwich." ♥

UPDATE ON HANNAH'S GIFT (The Film)

Posted by Maria Housden, author of HANNAH'S GIFT on May 9, 2008 at 4:00pm

Although it has been awhile since I posted an update on the progress of HANNAH'S GIFT (The Film), a lot has been happening behind the scenes. Christophe and 'the team' have been focusing their efforts to maximum effect, and we've made amazing progress in a relatively short period of time.In some ways, it's like climbing a ladder. Each 'yes' is another rung, and the more support the project receives, the more visibility it has. In a few weeks, Christophe will be at the Cannes Film Festival, where he intends to meet with some of the more elusive movers and shakers. For those who are offering prayers on our behalf, we also have a couple of very important meetings next week which could alter the landscape significantly.While it has been a practice in patience as we wait for things to develop, I am grateful for the enthusiastic and generous support that we've received so far. Marie De Hennezel is one of the many angels who has stepped up on our behalf. Marie, who is French, is considered by many to be the mother of the hospice movement. It was she who translated HANNAH'S GIFT into French and wrote a forward for the French edition, which contributed significantly to its success in that country. Marie read our screenplay and loved our approach to the story, and because of her support, doors have opened to us that might otherwise have remained closed.At some point, I hope to be able to share more details about the inner workings of this process, since it has been exciting and eye-opening for me. It's a bit like being invited to the V.I.P. room backstage at a huge concert and standing in the corner, all eyes and ears. Even the fact that my sweet Missy Hannah Girl's story is being pitched and talked about at the Cannes Film Festival is completely mind-blowing to me.Meanwhile, as the film finds its place in the world, I am finding mine. Regardless of whether this film gets made or not (and I am confident that it will), I must continue to move forward in the direction of my dreams which, for me, means loving, mothering, writing, being. ♥(reposted from the original blog at www.myspace.com/mariahousden

Please Don't Be Shy!!

Posted by Greg Schneider on April 22, 2008 at 11:01am

When you become a member of the Hospice Community Forum, don't be shy!! I have been an active member of the hospice community for over a decade. Because of my experience as a patient care volunteer, as a participant on the NHPCO list serves and as the founder of the Hospice Volunteer Association, I recognize many of the names of people who are joining the forum.

It is great to be able to finally match names with faces -- I'm sure others are equally pleased. You can upload your photo at any time. Some have chosen to upload a favorite photo of a flower or a pet instead of their own image-- that's OK too but we would all enjoy the opportunity to put your face to your name.

I look forward to getting to know more of you!!

Greg Schneider HCF Founder, Manager

Who I am!

Posted by Cheryl R. Walls on April 21, 2008 at 12:22pm

I have only been a Volunteer Manager for eight months. I come from a hospice nursing background. I have days when I could talk to the world and days when I could care less if the world is turning! My patients and my volunteers mean the world to me. I would do anything for my volunteers and I truly enjoy every minute I get to spend with them. I have only had one instance thus far where I had to ask a volunteer to quit, and she did so. Now when she sees me she almost hurts herself turning the other way to avoid me completely. This is painful, as I would never wish anyone to dislike me. But those are the ropes!!!! I appreciate being able to have a site like this where I can tell what I feel and not be worried about someone overhearing me or taking it the wrong way. There is only so much my family can listen to from me and TRULY understand, even if they say they do understand!!!! God is not my co-pilot, he is my PILOT and I do nothing without Him being first in my life. I cannot imagine doing the job I do and not having him to guide me spiritually. I pray for my patients daily and try my best not to pray for patience! This is the most rewarding job I have ever had and I thoroughly enjoy every day I get up and come to work! How many people today get to say that about their jobs.!!!!! I am blessed!!!!!

Welcome to the Hospice Community Forum

Posted by Greg Schneider on April 20, 2008 at 3:44pm

I am very pleased to announce the establishment of the Hospice Community Forum (HCF) on behalf of the Hospice Volunteer Association (HVA). The features available in this forum offer many ways for the community to share information. Don't hesitate to experiment with the available features. The HCF is a powerful tool and HVA will be developing the forum to facilitate more communication between the hospices of the world. The net result will be improved professional development for all hospice disciplines. Invite colleagues and professionals that are involved in palliative and end-of-life care. We have established some groups that will fulfill the needs of most of the hospice disciplines but those are just a starting point. As the forum grows, the diversity of the membership will grow leading to a need for more specialized groups. We encourage members to start their own blog within a group. If you would like to moderate a group or create your own group, let me know and we will help you set it up. The Internet has proven itself to be an incredibly powerful communication tool. Let's take advantage of the technology so that the dying and their families can benefit from this forum because we are learning from each other. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you have suggestions for this forum. Greg Schneider Founder and Manager Hospice Community Forum

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All Posts (88)

Hospice Volunteering: An Audio Documentary

A Hospice Angel

How 'bout a refresher?

IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS

UPDATE ON HANNAH'S GIFT (The Film)

Please Don't Be Shy!!

Who I am!

Welcome to the Hospice Community Forum

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When Your Massage Client has Dementia

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