LIFE BEFORE DEATH -- The "D" Word

The "D" Word Short film 26 of 50 in the LIFE Before Death documentary series about the global crisis in untreated pain and the dramatic life changing effect palliative care services can deliver to patients and their families around the world. In this weeks short film we talk about the D word- Death. We learn about different cultures and how they perceive death and why there is so much fear around discussing it. "Many people they still treat the subject of death and dying as a taboo, and if you look at some very traditional values of the Chinese culture you will see that death means unlucky, so people, they try not to touch the subject at all, which poses difficulty for us because if you don't talk about it it's difficult to make preparations and then people will have many regrets afterwards," reflects Faye Chan (Hong Kong). "Say a doctor wants to refer a patient to hospice, some people may think that if you go to a hospice that means the time won't be long and they don't really want to face that kind of issue." Dr Cynthia Goh (Singapore) explains that it's not just Asian culture that finds death a negative thing to talk about however in Chinese culture "death is not only something bad that happens to people but also something maybe contagious in terms of bad luck, not contagious physically and I think those ideas really need to be changed". "Death is a taboo in many countries, the elephant in the room as we may say in the west, we don't talk about the fact that people are dying, we have a fear that maybe talking about it will take away hope, the will to live. My own experience that in actual fact being honest and talking to people about it doesn't take away hope, it allows people to make responsible decisions about their own future, if we address openly the issue we are talking about," reports Dr Jim Cleary (Australia). "I think the most important way to overcome a fear of death is to have experienced someone else's death when it goes well. I am struck throughout my career that the actual experience of dying over those months and years is far better than anyone could imagine. The fear comes from imagining it rather than actually experiencing it in the context of family," explains Dr Charles Von Gunten (USA)

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by Rashani Rea & Kathy Douglas

Those who companion suffering daily, such as hospice nurses and volunteers, will surely appreciate this beautiful work. With 62 original art collages by Rashani Réa, five beautiful chapters by Kathy Douglas, and a foreword by Jean Watson, this exquisite book is a peaceful refuge for contemplation, inquiry, reflection and inspiration for those who traverse the joys and sorrows of nursing.

Kathy Douglas, RN, MPH-HA is a nationally recognized nurse leader, filmmaker and entrepreneur.

Rashani Réa is a prolific artist and musician, a creatrice of sanctuaries and a respected spiritual mentor.

“This is a beloved book and beyond a book. It is an evocative, poetic, ecstatic, and inspirited sacred, experiential calling. A calling to you--YES, YOU.”

— Jean Watson, PhD, RN, AHN-BC, FAAN, Living Legend (AAN)

“Those who companion suffering daily need to turn inward to metabolize what they have witnessed. This exquisite book, filled with beautiful images and poetic wise words, is the inspiration and support needed to grow a wise heart.”

— Frank Ostaseski, founder and director of the Metta Institute and author of The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully

“In this unique time of the COVID-19 pandemic, this book should be considered a tribute to the tremendous courage being displayed by nurses around the world. There is much wisdom conveyed throughout by those who have been there serving others with such grace.”

— Greg Schneider President, HVA, co-author of The Changing Face of Hospice Volunteering in Hospice and Palliative Care

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Comments

kalsang wangdu December 2, 2011 at 3:24pm

I woked in long term care and took care of many hospice patient. However, it is not same when my own father passed away. With experience with my father i can able to understand more than before.
Thomas Smith November 28, 2011 at 6:04am

Talking about Death is clearly a "humanity problem", not localized to any one nation, ethnic, cultural or religious background. It is ironic that often in the Christian Community, those who profess the strongest faith are the ones who are most afraid of talking about death, and facing death. The same could be said about writing a will, signing advance directives: "If you talk about it, it will not happen". How sad.
issa eddiris altom November 27, 2011 at 5:32am

Hi
i am working now at nursing home
Greg Schneider November 26, 2011 at 10:18am

"Many people they still treat the subject of death and dying as a taboo...if you don't talk about it it's difficult [for all] to make preparations and then people will have many regrets afterwards."

This tradition is slowly diminishing all around the world. Once people break the taboo, they find it is beneficial to all involved to have open communication about a loved one who is dying. Certainly cultural considerations and the desires of the person dying should trump any desires by others to have open communications."

In my experience, the more time spent by a hospice volunteer or caregiver with the family and the person dying, the more likely the communications will move towards being more open."

Greg Schneider
HVA Founder, President

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