Last week while preparing for a presentation on listening, I leaned back in my chair at the computer wondering what story I could tell about listening deeply. Not just involuntary hearing but truly listening to the meaning of the words. Listening with my heart as well as my ears.
My heart burst open and I started to cry. I heard my mother say "I made soup."
My mother had severe crippling arthritis, scoliosis and heart disease. Her physician was an osteopath and she combined acupuncture, herbs, supplements and homeopathic medicine in her health care. She never went to the hospital .She would simply stay in bed for days at a time.
Cooking was very painful for mother so friends would bring food or take her out to eat most of the time. This was her program for the last 20 years of her life.
I*n her last few months every time Mother called me she would say "honey, I made vegetable soup. It’s so good!"
My response was always , "Great Mom." I actually remember being somewhat bored by these conversations and not really interested in her soup.
I harbored a well of anger with my mother and didn’t work through that before she died. It clouded all our communication.
Last week, 16 years later I got it. "I Made Soup"meant, honey I’m out of bed today; Im feeling strong and I was able to cut vegetables. It’s a glorious day!"
" I Made Soup" was a statement of mother’s courage and independence and her ability to push through her suffering .
Deep Listening is a practice and a philosophy developed by Pauline Oliveros. It is said in this practice that listening deeply requires the temporary suspension of judgment and a willingness to receive new information. It is a process of learning.
Truly listening allows us to not only hear what someone says and, what they think, but allows us the understanding of what it means to them and why it matters. There is perhaps no greater way to show our respect than to truly listen to someone.
Many blessings and please share your listening stories . Your stories mean so much to the community.
Irene smith
