Touch Not Needed; She's Had Her Medication

As I sat and massaged my client’s hands at the dining table I felt a pull behind me. The pull became very strong. Holding one of my client’s hands I slowly turned around. Gayle, the Chinese speaking resident sitting at the head of the table, was leaning forward and moaning and calling to me with her eyes. She wanted a witness for her pain.

Her eyes were intensely focused on me and now she was reaching out her hand. I responded and reached out one hand to her. She took my hand and leaned even more forward. I knew I was crossing professional boundaries.

I told my client I needed to be present for Gayle for just a moment. I let my client’s hand go and turned my body fully towards Gayle. Gayle moaned, looked deep into my eyes and continued to hold my out stretched hand. “I’m so sorry for your pain.” I said. Gayle responded with head nods. There was the passing of a moment .The touch seemed grounding and Gayle began to rest more comfortably in her chair.

In the next moment a staff member stepped up to the table and looked at me and said.” That’s not needed. She has had her morphine.” I looked up, said nothing and continued to hold Gayle’s hand. A nursing assistant at the other end of the table said, she’s right Gayle has had her medication she’ll be fine.”

I experience this concept over and over again. There seems to be a blanket belief that when one is on pain medication comforting isn’t necessary because the patient doesn’t feel discomfort.

After thirty five years at the bedside I can honestly say that there is always consciousness. My teaching to others is to always honor the consciousness. Honor the core being under the medication. Validate the person’s experience and hold that experience with the utmost compassion.

Touch is our original language. It is our birthright to bond; to connect. From my experience medication does not counteract the need to bond. In fact with the sometimes floaty out of body experience from some drugs, touch grounds and settles the body. Touch may be the anchor in a world that is turning round and round.

Many times medication interferes with the body’s ability to express discomfort but may not eliminate the discomfort.

In listening to many bodies with my fingertips I have the opportunity to hear the conversations that the body can no longer express through animation. I am the silent witness to these conversations.

This is an extremely compassionate and valuable offering at the bedside.

Always speak to the consciousness. There is pure consciousness in every cell in the body deserving dignity, respect and validation. We deserve to feel connected through all stages of our lives.

Blessings, Irene Smith

w ww.everflowing.org

Recently Published!!
by Maryclaire Torinus

Surviving Hospice: A Chaplain's Journey into the Big Business of Dying Plus: How To Find a Trustworthy Hospice

This narrative is an insider’s look into the hijacking of hospice by private equity and professional investors and the subsequent harm to patients, their families, and to the interdisciplinary clinical teams. It was released by a NYC publisher on October 31, 2023. For sale on Amazon.

The author, a hospice chaplain, tells end-of-life stories of her patients who were harmed by financially-motivated policies. This is a book for anyone who is embarking on making a choice about a hospice for their loved one, working chaplains, those in training, and those interested in what dying is like with a hospice who places patients as their primary stakeholders.

Maryclaire's experience working for an owner who sold to a private equity firm helped her to realize that the reputation and viability of hospice is in jeopardy. Her goal is to alert all who love hospice to rid it of professional investors.

— Stacy Juba, author, editor, and award-winning health journalist

"Powerful, beautifully written, and eye-opening, this book spotlights the inner workings of a multi-billion-dollar industry and the effect on patients, families, and hospice staff. The author shares poignant accounts of hospice at its best and worst and the hard-hitting truths she learned on her journey. A must-read for family members exploring hospice care."

— Laura Kukowski, CEO, editor, For-Profit Badger Hospice, LLC

"Maryclaire Torinus speaks with authority, providing this essential handbook for choosing a hospice care team and why that selection really matters."

— Greg Schneider President, HVA, co-author of The Changing Face of Hospice Volunteering in Hospice and Palliative Care

"When I first found out that Maryclaire Torinus was writing this book, I immediately contacted her because in my 25+ years supporting hospice volunteers, I have seen a gradual decline in the quality of care volunteers are permitted to provide the dying and their families. There are a variety of reasons for this that I describe in the Foreward of this book. Maryclaire provides invaluable insights that everyone should know, along with solutions to help others make the right choice in choosing a hospice."

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The Changing Face of Volunteering in Hospice and Palliative Care
Contributing Author - Greg Schneider
HCF Creator & HVA President

Volunteers have a long history of supporting the development and delivery of hospice and palliative care in most countries throughout the world. As hospice and palliative care services anticipate significant increasing and changing demands, it is recognized that volunteers have a vital role to play in supporting the future delivery of services. However, as society changes so too does volunteering.

This multi-author text explores the complex phenomenon of hospice and palliative care volunteering from an international perspective and considers the influence on volunteering of different cultures and constructs. The book also explores the likely impact of changes in hospice and palliative care on volunteers and considers how and why volunteering itself is changing and the subsequent implications for managers, organizations, and policy makers.

This book does not attempt to offer solutions to the many challenges ahead, but rather poses questions that may help to reflect on new possibilities and opportunities.

Review

"The book is well laid out and written in an easy to use manner. It begins with setting the scene of volunteering and the modern context of hospice and palliative care. The book is well referenced and covers a range of topics making for a balanced and thought provoking read." -- Nursing Times

"If you run a palliative care volunteer service, or a palliative care service with a volunteer program, you need to read this book. Not only will it give you an in-depth view of where things are at, but also how things are changing in countries from around the world." -- Roger Woodruff, IAHPC Newsletter

Editors

Ros Scott, Honorary Research Fellow, University of Dundee, UK and Co-chair, EAPC Task Force on Volunteering in Hospice and Palliative Care. She is a researcher and voluntary sector consultant with a background in organisational development, research and the development of volunteering and of palliative care organisations.

Steven Howlett, Deputy Director at Roehampton Business School, London, UK where he teaches undergraduate and post graduate courses in management and ethics. Previously he was Senior Research Fellow at the Institute for Volunteering research where he completed many studies on volunteering.

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