Recently I was asked to give a presentation on touch as a viable service to the dying. In my reflection of this topic, I realized that a primary outcome that keeps me at the bedside is I get to assist those I touch in remembering their loveliness. I have the opportunity to remind those in pain and suffering of their beauty. In turn, I am reminded of mine.
“M” was on of my clients in the nursing home many years ago. Her story however, is still vivid.
Our communication was primarily non verbal and M’s eyes spoke loud and clear. M enjoyed having her feet massaged while in the day room in her geri chair. The only comfortable way for me to do this was to sit on the floor and put a pillow in my lap and place M’s feet on the pillow. A very conservative woman, M often found a curious humor in my sitting this way.
One day while massaging M’s feet, she began to lean forward. Her eyes had taken the expression of awe and her mouth was beginning to open slightly. I remember distinctly that I was massaging the big toe. Her expression became more exaggerated and I became excited for her. She was loving this session. She really looked to be involved with the beauty of the hand motions.
I wanted to enter into her excitement. “Oh yes” I said, “Massage is so beautiful.”
With great pleasure and realization M spoke. “No!” she said, looking at her foot “ my toe!”
What greater gift can I deliver than the gift of remembering one’s loveliness?
I believe it is said very well in one of my favorite pieces of poetry:
Saint Frances and The Sow by Galway Kimmel
for everything flowers from within of self blessing
though sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing it’s loveliness
to put a hand on it’s brow
and retell it in words and in touch it is lovely
until once again it flowers from within of self blessing.”
I look forward to you sharing your stories and comments.
Blessings,
Irene Smith
www.everflowing.org
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CAREGIVERS STORE
Those who companion suffering daily, such as hospice nurses and volunteers, will surely appreciate this beautiful work. With 62 original art collages by Rashani Réa, five beautiful chapters by Kathy Douglas, and a foreword by Jean Watson, this exquisite book is a peaceful refuge for contemplation, inquiry, reflection and inspiration for those who traverse the joys and sorrows of nursing.
Kathy Douglas, RN, MPH-HA is a nationally recognized nurse leader, filmmaker and entrepreneur.
Rashani Réa is a prolific artist and musician, a creatrice of sanctuaries and a respected spiritual mentor.
“This is a beloved book and beyond a book. It is an evocative, poetic, ecstatic, and inspirited sacred, experiential calling. A calling to you--YES, YOU.”
— Jean Watson, PhD, RN, AHN-BC, FAAN, Living Legend (AAN)
“Those who companion suffering daily need to turn inward to metabolize what they have witnessed. This exquisite book, filled with beautiful images and poetic wise words, is the inspiration and support needed to grow a wise heart.”
— Frank Ostaseski, founder and director of the Metta Institute and author of The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully
“In this unique time of the COVID-19 pandemic, this book should be considered a tribute to the tremendous courage being displayed by nurses around the world. There is much wisdom conveyed throughout by those who have been there serving others with such grace.”
— Greg Schneider President, HVA, co-author of The Changing Face of Hospice Volunteering in Hospice and Palliative Care
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