Recently I was asked to give a presentation on touch as a viable service to the dying. In my reflection of this topic, I realized that a primary outcome that keeps me at the bedside is I get to assist those I touch in remembering their loveliness. I have the opportunity to remind those in pain and suffering of their beauty. In turn, I am reminded of mine.
“M” was on of my clients in the nursing home many years ago. Her story however, is still vivid.
Our communication was primarily non verbal and M’s eyes spoke loud and clear. M enjoyed having her feet massaged while in the day room in her geri chair. The only comfortable way for me to do this was to sit on the floor and put a pillow in my lap and place M’s feet on the pillow. A very conservative woman, M often found a curious humor in my sitting this way.
One day while massaging M’s feet, she began to lean forward. Her eyes had taken the expression of awe and her mouth was beginning to open slightly. I remember distinctly that I was massaging the big toe. Her expression became more exaggerated and I became excited for her. She was loving this session. She really looked to be involved with the beauty of the hand motions.
I wanted to enter into her excitement. “Oh yes” I said, “Massage is so beautiful.”
With great pleasure and realization M spoke. “No!” she said, looking at her foot “ my toe!”
What greater gift can I deliver than the gift of remembering one’s loveliness?
I believe it is said very well in one of my favorite pieces of poetry:
Saint Frances and The Sow by Galway Kimmel
for everything flowers from within of self blessing
though sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing it’s loveliness
to put a hand on it’s brow
and retell it in words and in touch it is lovely
until once again it flowers from within of self blessing.”
I look forward to you sharing your stories and comments.
Blessings,
Irene Smith
www.everflowing.org
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CAREGIVERS STORE
Surviving Hospice: A Chaplain's Journey into the Big Business of Dying Plus: How To Find a Trustworthy Hospice
This narrative is an insider’s look into the hijacking of hospice by private equity and professional investors and the subsequent harm to patients, their families, and to the interdisciplinary clinical teams. It was released by a NYC publisher on October 31, 2023. For sale on Amazon.
The author, a hospice chaplain, tells end-of-life stories of her patients who were harmed by financially-motivated policies. This is a book for anyone who is embarking on making a choice about a hospice for their loved one, working chaplains, those in training, and those interested in what dying is like with a hospice who places patients as their primary stakeholders.
Maryclaire's experience working for an owner who sold to a private equity firm helped her to realize that the reputation and viability of hospice is in jeopardy. Her goal is to alert all who love hospice to rid it of professional investors.
— Stacy Juba, author, editor, and award-winning health journalist
"Powerful, beautifully written, and eye-opening, this book spotlights the inner workings of a multi-billion-dollar industry and the effect on patients, families, and hospice staff. The author shares poignant accounts of hospice at its best and worst and the hard-hitting truths she learned on her journey. A must-read for family members exploring hospice care."
— Laura Kukowski, CEO, editor, For-Profit Badger Hospice, LLC
"Maryclaire Torinus speaks with authority, providing this essential handbook for choosing a hospice care team and why that selection really matters."
— Greg Schneider President, HVA, co-author of The Changing Face of Hospice Volunteering in Hospice and Palliative Care
"When I first found out that Maryclaire Torinus was writing this book, I immediately contacted her because in my 25+ years supporting hospice volunteers, I have seen a gradual decline in the quality of care volunteers are permitted to provide the dying and their families. There are a variety of reasons for this that I describe in the Foreward of this book. Maryclaire provides invaluable insights that everyone should know, along with solutions to help others make the right choice in choosing a hospice."
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The Changing Face of Volunteering in Hospice and Palliative Care
HCF Creator & HVA President
Volunteers have a long history of supporting the development and delivery of hospice and palliative care in most countries throughout the world. As hospice and palliative care services anticipate significant increasing and changing demands, it is recognized that volunteers have a vital role to play in supporting the future delivery of services. However, as society changes so too does volunteering.
This multi-author text explores the complex phenomenon of hospice and palliative care volunteering from an international perspective and considers the influence on volunteering of different cultures and constructs. The book also explores the likely impact of changes in hospice and palliative care on volunteers and considers how and why volunteering itself is changing and the subsequent implications for managers, organizations, and policy makers.
This book does not attempt to offer solutions to the many challenges ahead, but rather poses questions that may help to reflect on new possibilities and opportunities.
Review
"The book is well laid out and written in an easy to use manner. It begins with setting the scene of volunteering and the modern context of hospice and palliative care. The book is well referenced and covers a range of topics making for a balanced and thought provoking read." -- Nursing Times
"If you run a palliative care volunteer service, or a palliative care service with a volunteer program, you need to read this book. Not only will it give you an in-depth view of where things are at, but also how things are changing in countries from around the world." -- Roger Woodruff, IAHPC Newsletter
Editors
Ros Scott, Honorary Research Fellow, University of Dundee, UK and Co-chair, EAPC Task Force on Volunteering in Hospice and Palliative Care. She is a researcher and voluntary sector consultant with a background in organisational development, research and the development of volunteering and of palliative care organisations.
Steven Howlett, Deputy Director at Roehampton Business School, London, UK where he teaches undergraduate and post graduate courses in management and ethics. Previously he was Senior Research Fellow at the Institute for Volunteering research where he completed many studies on volunteering.
Steven Howlett, Deputy Director at Roehampton Business School, London, UK where he teaches undergraduate and post graduate courses in management and ethics. Previously he was Senior Research Fellow at the Institute for Volunteering research where he completed many studies on volunteering.
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