What people talk about before they die

This article illustrates that those who do not serve in the hospice profession often don't understand why we here in the Hospice Community Forum choose to be with people on their journey at the end of their lives. They also do not understand that our innate intuition about how to serve is often very accurate -- a perfect example is described in the article where a professor ridiculed a chaplain in one of his classes due to his own ignorance. [He should give serving the dying a try and then I think he will need to rewrite his lecture notes ;-)]

About those we serve: "They talk about the love they felt, and the love they gave. Often they talk about love they did not receive, or the love they did not know how to offer, the love they withheld, or maybe never felt for the ones they should have loved unconditionally."

This article beautifully covers a lot of ground in a very short time about caring for the dying:  What people talk about before they die

Greg Schneider
President, HVA
HCF Creator

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Replies

  • Beautifully said! I have worked as a hospice chaplain for the past 4 years and was a nurse for 28 years before attending seminary. My experience in working with the dying echoes Kerry's. Thanks for a great article!

  • This is an excellent article, Greg. It reminds me of the difference between organized religion and spirituality. My own conversations with the dying mostly have been similar to what Kerry Egan described, sometimes with small sprinklings of religion that the patient initiated. Because Kerry is a chaplain, most people probably assume (as her professor did) that she should focus her conversations with dying patients more on religion.

    The beauty of what Kerry is doing is in supporting and empowering patients in coming to terms with their personal closure needs. Of course, there are patients who want to combine the religious and spiritual. What's important is that conversation flows from the dying patient's closure needs and are not imposed on them by others who think they know a dying person's needs better than the patient does. Dying and all of its accompanying memories create a very personal journey.

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  • More about Kerry Egan's book:

    Fumbling: a pilgrimage tale of love, grief, and spiritual renewal on the Camino de Santiago

    http://books.google.com/books/about/Fumbling.html?id=kDcqAAAAYAAJ

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