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  • One Last Ride

     

    We have a program, "The Bucket List" where we grant last wishes to patients on our Hospice program. 

    https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/8646191062?profile=original
  • Orange Juice Joy

    A Short Story About Guest House Resident Martin Williams

    Martin Williams came to the Zen Hospice Guest House for his final days of life. I met him only once for about 20 minutes on the evening of June 8,1998. He would die before my next shift.

    I remember walking in to check on Martin periodically during my shift that Monday evening and found him sleeping most of the evening. I also remember first looking at him and thinking that he looked like a grumpy old man. How wrong we can be by initially judging others by their outward appearances!! Here was one of the sweetest men I would ever meet.

    Martin had a full blockage in his intestines or colon and required a gastric tube that went through his nose down into his stomach. This tube was connected to a pump to remove anything he would drink from his stomach. He could not eat any solid foods.

    About 9:20PM that evening he finally woke up and I had a brief conversation which very quickly changed my opinion of him. He was obviously a very kind and caring person – that was apparent almost immediately.

    I asked him if he wanted anything to drink and he acted as though he wasn’t too sure so I offered him some suggestions. [At this point I must note that I had a strong inclination to make orange juice that night as I was cleaning up the kitchen after serving dinner to the other residents.] When I gave him some suggestions he reluctantly responded to juice because I think he really wanted something more fulfilling. But I reminded him that he could only have liquids. He then said “well, let’s just start with an orange juice and we’ll take it from there”.

    I returned in minutes with a glass of what I thought was orange juice. I say that because as he was drinking this orange juice you would have thought it was some heavenly nectar. As he was drinking we talked about his daughter, who was an engineer with Hewlett Packard in Palo Alto, and his granddaughter.

    As we continued to converse I was astounded at how he was enjoying that glass of orange juice. Every sip, in between words, was followed with immense pleasure which was expressed by asking me the question “what is this I am drinking?” I responded that it was orange juice and he just said “Mmm!! This is the best thing I had ever had in my life!” “Mmm!!” would follow every sip. Oh how we can enjoy the simple things in life when we don’t have to think about all those busy details of our lives.

    We continued talking and I commented about the picture of his granddaughter next to his bed. I said “she must be pretty special & very precious to you, huh?” He said “Oh yes!” He then said, “As I drink orange juice in the future I will always think of her.” Obviously an expression of how something as simple as a glass of orange juice could have such significance in his life that he would correlate this juice drinking experience to a granddaughter that he loved so dearly.

    For me that was quite a lesson in “attention”, “awareness” and learning how to “enjoy the moment”.

    This 20-minute-moment remains with me to this very day. I'm sure this memory will remain until I am on my deathbed.

    You never know how a patient will affect you and what wisdom they will impart.

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Vigiling -- Listening To Your Inner Guide

Listening To Your Inner GuideWhen I first began volunteering in 1996, I was trained by Frank Ostaseski, the founder of the Zen Hospice Project. Zen Hospice had a residential facility with 5 beds called the Guest House, which is where I served the evening shift from 5:00pm - 10:00pm. Zen Hospice was unique in that volunteers served a very active role in the care of patients from sitting at the bedside to cooking, bathing and washing their clothes to name a few. This is rare in today's hospice…

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Christmas in May: Hospice Volunteer-Patient Story

This true hospice volunteer story is an excerpt from a chapter titled “Rainbow Smiles” from my book "Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes.” Most smiles begin with a warm energy that snakes through your body like a providential python and escapes through crescent-shaped doors of your lips. Then there are rainbow smiles that grab you in a supersized hug, hold you so tightly you can feel ribs of joy press against your essence. They are spellbinding, memorable, healing,…

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Hospice Volunteer Story: Meeting My New Patient

This story is an excerpt from my book "Becoming Dead Right: A Hospice Volunteer in Urban Nursing Homes.” Pointing her out to me, the nurse aide said, "That's Henrietta sitting by herself at the table." I followed her finger to a caramel-colored woman who sat humming. She had just finished eating and still hadn't wiped her mouth. A light coating of chicken grease looked like high-priced lip gloss when I walked closer to her. Henrietta was going to be my new hospice patient, my first at this…

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I Am So Vast

This journal entry relates to the poem I Am So Vast that I entered in the Poetry & Quotes group. From My Hospice Journal: Saturday Morning, 9/23/2000 Zen Hospice Guest House, San FranciscoI got up early to go out for my usual morning hike and am sitting at Cave Point near Mt. Diablo in the San Francisco East Bay area making this journal entry.I have been reflecting for some time this morning on the time I spent with Nancy last night at the hospice. When I first arrived for my Friday night shift…

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CAREGIVERS STORE

Recently Published!!
by Maryclaire Torinus

Surviving Hospice: A Chaplain's Journey into the Big Business of Dying Plus: How To Find a Trustworthy Hospice 

This narrative is an insider’s look into the hijacking of hospice by private equity and professional investors and the subsequent harm to patients, their families, and to the interdisciplinary clinical teams. It was released by a NYC publisher on October 31, 2023. For sale on Amazon.

The author, a hospice chaplain, tells end-of-life stories of her patients who were harmed by financially-motivated policies. This is a book for anyone who is embarking on making a choice about a hospice for their loved one, working chaplains, those in training, and those interested in what dying is like with a hospice who places patients as their primary stakeholders.

Maryclaire's experience working for an owner who sold to a private equity firm helped her to realize that the reputation and viability of hospice is in jeopardy. Her goal is to alert all who love hospice to rid it of professional investors.

— Stacy Juba, author, editor, and award-winning health journalist

"Powerful, beautifully written, and eye-opening, this book spotlights the inner workings of a multi-billion-dollar industry and the effect on patients, families, and hospice staff. The author shares poignant accounts of hospice at its best and worst and the hard-hitting truths she learned on her journey. A must-read for family members exploring hospice care."

— Laura Kukowski, CEO, editor, For-Profit Badger Hospice, LLC

"Maryclaire Torinus speaks with authority, providing this essential handbook for choosing a hospice care team and why that selection really matters."

Greg Schneider President, HVA, co-author of The Changing Face of Hospice Volunteering in Hospice and Palliative Care 

"When I first found out that Maryclaire Torinus was writing this book, I immediately contacted her because in my 25+ years supporting hospice volunteers, I have seen a gradual decline in the quality of care volunteers are permitted to provide the dying and their families. There are a variety of reasons for this that I describe in the Foreward of this book. Maryclaire provides invaluable insights that everyone should know, along with solutions to help others make the right choice in choosing a hospice."

Buy Now