Bereavement counselors provide critical support to people with emotional and psychological stress after the death of a loved one. Join our group if you wish to discuss topics relating to bereavement care.

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  • I find that while helping out the bereavement counselor as a volunteer at our hospice facility- my grief work towards recovery is moving in a forward direction. She understands my grief and helps me work through it- this is a gift that she has and I hope to assist her with others who are in bereavement.

  • When my mother-in-law was in the dying process, I was simultaneously marketing hospice services (you know, upbeat and cheerful, informative). Looking back, I wonder now how I functioned at all. The hospice staff where I worked gave valuable input and I vividly remember the hospice medical director saying a prayer for me. I attended our bereavement support groups as a family member not a staff member. I attended the memorials - as family, not staff. You muddle through, attaining personal growth without even knowing it. I wouldn't trade those awful, draining, mind numbing days for anything. Today, I can relate in a very profound way to others who are grieving....I have become a better listener and a better friend. It is really hard to practice what you preach, unless you learn from your own sermons. My thoughts are with you.
  • Barbara,
    I have been involved as a patient care volunteer for many years. I am the coordinator of our bereavement camp for children. The first thing I thought about when reading your question, was pretty simple. You are already in the grief period albeit anticipatory, so I would think that you dedicate your kindness and efforts to Barbara (self) and to your sister. Usually we are not in a place to help others with grief, when we are in some process of grief of our own.
  • Barbara, I just joined today and saw your request. I can see how it would be hard to separate your own experience from those you are trying to help when you are feeling so vulnerable yourself to grief. Maybe if I knew more about what you are specifically having a hard time with, I could offer some suggestions. Also, it's almost 2 months since you wrote so I'm not sure if you are still in the same place as you were at the beginning of July. I've lost two sisters to cancer, so my heart responded to your situation.
  • I am looking for suggestions as to how to continue to do good bereavement work with others while I am trying to deal with my only sister's terminal diagnosis. Any thoughts?
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The Midnight Blues -- Expressions of Grief

Music can convey the feelings of grief quite effectively...here's a link to YouTube video of the Gary Moore song which really conveys the message deeply... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9h7ZIJwGxJA Here are the lyrics: The Midnight Blues It's the darkest hour Of the darkest night It's a million miles From the morning light Can't get no sleep Don't know what to do I've got those midnight blues When the shadows fall I feel the night closing in There must be some reason For this mood I'm…

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Volunteer Manager and Bereavement

I am a Hospice Volunteer Manager and we recently lost our Bearevement Coordinator (who is also a chaplain); Conditions of Participation seem to suggest that one only needs to be educated in bereavement, not necessarily have a certificate, degree, MSW, etc. I have been asked to research how I can legitimately help out in our bereavement departmemnt. How much bereavment work can I actually do besides having my volunteers do post-death calls and mailing to families? Thank you for any input!

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American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Offers Support Group Facilitator Training

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) is offering training programs to help individuals learn the "how-to's" of creating and facilitating a support group for survivors of suicide loss.  This comprehensive hands-on training program helps survivors of suicide loss and interested others learn the basic skills needed to lead bereavement support group for adults. The two-day program combines lecture, interactive discussion and role-playing with feedback.  It is an opportunity to have…

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Telling Employees to Stop Talking About Their Dead Kids Is OK, Says Court

I realize that death is still a scary topic to many people and that each case has to be evaluated separately. That's why having the practice of all employees being told to stop talking about their dead children at work legally supported in a court of law seems extreme. From a bereavement perspective, what do you think about this ruling or another solution? Read article below:   A New Jersey woman sued her employer after being told to remove her deceased daughter's ballet slippers and photo from…

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CAREGIVERS STORE

Recently Published!!
by Maryclaire Torinus

Surviving Hospice: A Chaplain's Journey into the Big Business of Dying Plus: How To Find a Trustworthy Hospice 

This narrative is an insider’s look into the hijacking of hospice by private equity and professional investors and the subsequent harm to patients, their families, and to the interdisciplinary clinical teams. It was released by a NYC publisher on October 31, 2023. For sale on Amazon.

The author, a hospice chaplain, tells end-of-life stories of her patients who were harmed by financially-motivated policies. This is a book for anyone who is embarking on making a choice about a hospice for their loved one, working chaplains, those in training, and those interested in what dying is like with a hospice who places patients as their primary stakeholders.

Maryclaire's experience working for an owner who sold to a private equity firm helped her to realize that the reputation and viability of hospice is in jeopardy. Her goal is to alert all who love hospice to rid it of professional investors.

— Stacy Juba, author, editor, and award-winning health journalist

"Powerful, beautifully written, and eye-opening, this book spotlights the inner workings of a multi-billion-dollar industry and the effect on patients, families, and hospice staff. The author shares poignant accounts of hospice at its best and worst and the hard-hitting truths she learned on her journey. A must-read for family members exploring hospice care."

— Laura Kukowski, CEO, editor, For-Profit Badger Hospice, LLC

"Maryclaire Torinus speaks with authority, providing this essential handbook for choosing a hospice care team and why that selection really matters."

Greg Schneider President, HVA, co-author of The Changing Face of Hospice Volunteering in Hospice and Palliative Care 

"When I first found out that Maryclaire Torinus was writing this book, I immediately contacted her because in my 25+ years supporting hospice volunteers, I have seen a gradual decline in the quality of care volunteers are permitted to provide the dying and their families. There are a variety of reasons for this that I describe in the Foreward of this book. Maryclaire provides invaluable insights that everyone should know, along with solutions to help others make the right choice in choosing a hospice."

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